We’ve got a lot of pets here at Bitchery HQ, and we call our pets a lot of things.
For example, Amanda adopted Linus, the senior executive of floof, in August of 2017. She found him on the MSPCA Instagram, where he was referred to as a “stunning, huge gentleman:”
Story checks out.
Just over a year is plenty of time for nicknames! Among them:
- My sweet boy
- Fluff son
- My precious boy
- Little sweet potato
- My little toasted marshmallow
- Fluff butt
She also has two songs about him. As you do. And, Amanda is happy to report that when she adopted Linus, “He was 9 and a quarter and the shelter’s vet wrote “grossly obese” on his records. Now he’s almost 11, down three pounds, and doing fantastic! When I adopted him, I was warned that he might need to get his teeth removed because of some issues. When he had his dental day last summer, I was happy to receive a call that he gets to keep his teeth! He just had a lot of plaque build up.”
Elyse has Dewey and Fisher, and, well, get ready.
Elyse: “We got Dewey in January of 2014 from our local Humane Society. He’s:
- Dewey MacDewerson
- Deward Morris (my mom went to school with a kid with that name so it’s an inside joke)
- My big boy
- My honey bunny baby boy.
Elyse: “Fisher came to us last year from Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary last March. He was found in a fishing shanty after trying to eat a fish hook.” So his name IS a nickname.
- Fisher also goes by: Fishy-Fish, Small fry, and Little Fuzz. He is also, on occasion, Mr. Poopy Britches.
Carrie has nicknames, of course: “I have 3 cats and one dog. The dog, named Lucy, is about 15 pounds and only gets a nickname when she barks at the UPS person. At these times she’s known as “Fang,” “Cujo,” “Killer,” or “Oh, for the Love of Jesus Please Shut Up.”
Here are all three cats, “all forbidden to go outside, trying to make a break for it. Magic is the tall one, Starlight is looking down, and Toothless is sticking a paw out the door.”
“The two shorthair cats, Starlight and Magic, don’t have nicknames. However, very fluffy Toothless, named for her eerie resemblance to Toothless the dragon, often goes by ‘squeaker’ (she squeaks a lot), Squeak Toy, Flufferface, and Floofy.”
As for me, I have two dogs, Buzz (the Anxious) (that’s his formal title used on all his correspondence) and Zeb, and two cats, Wilbur and Orville. I haven’t named any of them, as they were rescues. But that didn’t stop us from coming up with a slew of nicknames for all four.
- Wilbur: Wilbs, Wilbeezer, the Beezer, Wilbus Dumbledore, Willibur, small cat, Willibus, Sir Wilbus.
- Orville: Orvillius, The Ville, Oro de Ville, The Poopsmith (he had megacolon so his solid waste production is subject of much attention in our house) Big Kitty, Heckin’ Chonker, Big Chungus.
Collectively, the two are known as “the Woogus” or “the Wooguses.”
Wilbur is not impressed.
As for the dogs, there are a lot of names.
- Zeb: Z, The Zeeb, Piglet, Zooble, Zeebie, The Z, Zeb-ity-do-dah, Justin Zeeber, and, shortly after that picture was taken, his name was temporarily, “Oh, dear God, what did you just roll around in?!”
- Buzz: The Buzzle, The Beebs, Fuzzball (his original name when he was in the shelter) Fuzz Buzz, Buzzy, Belly Buzz (as above, where he demands belly rubs the minute I walk in the door)
Freebird, my older son, would like to insist that Buzz’s newest nickname is “Bo-bo,” but Adam is not on board with this nickname. Freebird: “We all call him Bo-bo anyway.” Buzz himself is fine with it, so long as there are belly rubs and treats.
Ok, silliness time: what are your pet nicknames? We want to hear all the ridiculous, punny, silly, and adorable names you call your pets. And if you want to share pictures, that’s cool, too!